Back At It

I’ve been taking pictures again and it feels good. I signed up for portfolio reviews but I don’t really have expectations for anything to come of it careerwise. I’m in it for the friendships and sense of community. It is lonely out here.I’m at a point where I’m looking at where I’ve been and where I’m hoping to go. I’m less interested in a thriving career as an artist, which oddly might be the secret ingredient to actually having a career in the arts. I’ve got less to prove and more to explore. 

So, I’m bumming around with a fold up camera and just taking photos of things I find interesting or, dare I say, pretty. Too much is made about making art. I suppose it is a personal problem of mine where I feel compelled to justify my actions with the business model passed down to me: does it create an income and is it practical? 

My best work is made when I don’t really think about that stuff. It’s not that it shouldn’t be a consideration but, there is no joy in it. 

So, I buy inexpensive roll film and basic printing paper. I don’t rely on luxurious materials to save my ass. 

The work is “about” or perhaps being made by someone at a period of transition in life. I’m officially middle aged. It’s strange. I have seen the elephant. I had no idea what I would look or feel like at this age and here I am.

The process might change but then again, maybe not. It doesn’t matter. I’m committing to taking pictures I like, showing them to people, and writing about things that interest me. We’ll see what happens. It is good to be at an age where curiosity is okay. Call it a second childhood.

The Gorilla in the Room

Most of my projects start out as a both “a goof” and a serious attempt to attract attention to myself. Getting a gorilla costume just seemed like a fun idea at the time but, it has led to an interesting journey.

The gorilla is something we all can, literally, relate to in some primitive way. I use it as a tool to play with culture and see where I fit into it. It has been hard to be vulnerable in public so I performed in some way for as long as I can remember. Creating a relatable character that also provides total anonymity takes me out of the equation. We all wear masks, in some way, to move through the world. The gorilla, instead of protecting me, allows for me to be more emotionally open and able to connect.

The things I struggle with today are not new or unique. It’s normal to wonder about one’s place in society. The tendency to embellish, exaggerate, and outright lie about one’s status has been demonstrated throughout history and art. When given the opportunity to tell our story, leaving out the more human parts comes as no surprise.

With “influencers” polishing a perfect existence and “curating” a lifestyle brand across all social media platforms, it’s no wonder that humanity has been suffering from low self-esteem and depression at near record levels. We’re actually signing up to feel bad. I have certainly experienced the effects and exhaustions of trying to keep up. 

So, the gorilla is my safe haven. I use the mask and costume as an obvious tool in in front of the camera and make our common humanity the subject of my work. 

Morning Symphony

Spring is here and I can tell because the flowers are blooming, grass is greener, and the birds are singing. Here is this morning’s report from the trees. The occasional car passing by is just part of life’s rich pageant.

My work and passion is about honoring the connections in the world. It’s what gets me up in the morning

What I've Done During The Pandemic? Jack Shit.

What have I done during the Pandemic Isolation? Jack Shit, that’s what. I’ve certainly thought about making some interesting body of work with my camera, but then, I just scroll along social media and that feeling passes. I start writing and after a while it just stops being interesting. 

I’m not on a artist retreat, I’m living in the middle of a global pandemic. It isn’t lost on me that people are getting sick and some of those people are not getting better. It is strange to think that we all live in a world where the people who are going to die from this virus THIS MONTH might not even be sick yet. Sorry if a series of still life pictures or wet plate mug shot portraits just doesn’t do it for me.

Instead, I’m sitting on my ass and looking out the window. This is a marathon and I’ve run a few of those. The secret to marathons is to keep your goals very simple: finish. Cross the goddamn line in one piece. 

I believe this situation will pass. That said, I’m just not that into teaching you how to do stuff, making art about isolation or whatever. I’m doing the New York Times Crossword puzzle and a few other things. Above all, I am so profoundly grateful for the simple gift of being able to stay safe and full of ennui.

My creative wheels aren’t going into overdrive and I don’t have a problem with that. My goal for the foreseeable future is to just stay healthy, help others stay healthy, and get through each day as best I can. No great opuses, nothing else really matters. 

One thing I have committed to doing is watching all the James Bond movies with my stepson, who is home from college. Every night, we continue our journey into the wildly sexist international spy series.

Here is to loafing on the sofa, baking stuff, and feeding the cats. Read a book, walk around the block. In a marathon and the goal is just to finish. An ugly, late finish still counts. Pace yourself, stay hydrated and mindful. Worry about being fabulous at the after-party when we all feel like celebrating. That will be a very good day. 

Darkness into Light

Midmorning March 3rd, 2020

It’s funny, I have a desire to make some night photos but the bright sunlight keeps pulling me back. This time of year I can feel myself get unwound from a winter of sunlight starvation. My mood picks up, projects present themselves and, I’m making more work that I like.

Seeing the sun on the ocean is something that never really gets old. This image was made at Camp Cronin, on what remained of a concrete bunker from World War Two. I don’t know why I haven’t gone out for a night sequence recently. Probably because it is cold. That’s a good reason.

Spring and summer will find me lookin with love into the darkness.

What I’m Listening to.

This is a quick rundown of what is catching my interest. With the internet, it s easy to travel in time, relive different parts of my life through the music and media of that time. There are times when I feel a little confused and looking back to where I have been is a great way to adjust my flight plan. Anyone who says you can reference the past is a boring fool. Good ideas marinate well.

Music

• Nine Inch Nails: The Downward Spiral

  • This album fell off my radar years ago but, it still resonates with me on some level.

• Bruce Springsteen: Western Stars

  • It’s a little corny and full of cellos, but it hits me. I tried to watch the movie on the flight back from Arizona and just couldn’t finish it. Bruce Springsteen is just so damn earnest.

• Lee “Scratch” Perry: Super Ape & Return of The Super Ape

  • He is a master in full and a creative force.

• The Afghan Whigs: In Spades

  • I remember these guys from when I lived in Cincinnati. This album is their latest and I’m glad to know they’re still in the game.

• Joe Henry: Lighthouse

  • This is a great love song. It is good to have love in your life.

Podcasts

• Questlove Supreme

  • This is a great podcast if you have interest in music and the creative process.

• The Score: The Bank Robber Diaries

  • An interesting podcast about Joe Loya. He was a bank robber.

• Akimbo: A Podcast from Seth Godin

  • Interesting and very useful podcast about marketing and human-based business practices.

• Pivot

  • Cara Swisher & Scott Galloway talk about tech, business, and poltics.

Daily Practice makes Daily Practice

I’ve been a little stagnant in my photography and that is in part to me not using a camera on a daily basis. Perhaps you can identify.

Part of the issue with using big cameras is thinking that smaller cameras are somehow not as good. This thinking is similar to a painter of large canvases not using a sketchbook to practice the eye. Doesn’t make sense.

So, I’m developing a habit of keeping a small Sony a6000 with me wherever I go. I have it set on program and auto exposure. For me, it is a tool to record the interesting things I see. It blows off a little steam and frees up my imagination. Photography becomes less of an event and more of a practice. It’s easy to forget that.

Here are some selections from my daily practice.

Making Art with A.D.D. isn't Impossible

I don’t know where I got this idea that all my work had to be in tiny little packages and completed before I went on to something else. It isn’t how my brain works and it stood in the way of me making work at all. It isn’t that I don’t believe in finishing what I start, but often that requires a lot of exploration of other paths and ideas before I can bring something to a close.

It wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned the term “Attention Deficit Disorder” and realized it fit me perfectly. I was a “rambunctious” kid growing up and had a hard time sitting still. This made it difficult to achieve any kind of solid academic record and was the source of many tense conversations during my teenage years. We didn’t know what we didn’t know back then.

However, I realize that the struggle to try to get my brain to focus the way I “think” it should takes more energy than letting do its thing. The fact is, I’m interested in a lot of things all at once and time and again, the connections between them make themselves known in time. It can be scary, but if I just factor in a little “soft focus” I get more done. This doesn’t mean I don’t respond well to organization, it’s just that it looks different than other people’s versions.

What helps is writing things down, using my calendar app, getting plenty of sleep, and, factoring in time goof off. Also, practicing some form of meditation helps. Sometimes a little pause gives my brain space to make connections it wouldn’t otherwise make. I’ve come to rely on it.

I still struggle with motivation, everyone does. Usually lack of motivation comes from feeling like nothing I do will be good enough because somehow the focus isn’t there. What helps is realizing that how I think I should function and how I do function are two different things. As soon as I stop comparing those two things, more gets done. It takes a daily leap of faith but usually works out

Sunday Readings: Culled from the Internet

Found on the internet

A few links you might enjoy too.

• Warren Zevon’s Werewolves of London as written by James Joyce

• Photowork: Forty Photographers On Process and Practice by Sasha Wolff

• The Kallitype Process: Sandy King

• Lemme Smash Video (it’s silly)

• Dustbowl Revival has a new album

• Andy Adams on Instagram (Follow Him)

What is the Curious Basement?

When I’m left to my own devices, I’ll be in the basement making prints or outside making pictures. It’s where I’m happiest and most creative. I’m also passionate about the community of artists who use photography. The Curious Basement refers to the fact that most home darkrooms are located in basements. It is the place for the most creative exploration in my life. The Curious Basement brings all this together.

I’ll be selling photos at affordable prices on my site here and sharing the process on my instagram channel.

I’m tired of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. My work and passion involve making things with light and precious metals.